At the table

Now this was a hard one to find a picture for….

For some, but not all, who were born in 1995, 1986, 1977, 1968, 1959, 1950, and 1941 have something which I call the “centre” personality.

They are people who are naturally kind, generous, thoughtful and naturally resourceful which can mean that friends and family rely on them, thereby becoming the centre.

Usually the centre of any household is the kitchen table.

So if advice were food, they would have the best tables! Everyone coming in or out to chat, or ask for help (this might even be a real life occurrence for them), or drop by for dinner.

The problem with this is that it can easily cause resentment, resentment which can stew and fester and blow up into a hurricane force of feeling “owed.”

Eventually you may do tasks with the expectation or on the condition of quid pro quo.

Nothing is permanent. It is possible to fix this.

First it is important to have an awareness that you feel like this and to be aware when these emotions come up. Nip them in the bud when you do with “well this story isn’t true anymore.”

Secondly, because you are the centre it can mean you feel overly responsible for other’s well being and emotions. Now back to the first point, be aware when you start to feel angry when others are not doing as you advise. Are you taking on too much that isn’t yours?

And lastly, realise that your friends, your family, whoever, their reaction is their responsibility.

Your 50% is to turn up, support, then walk away. Their 50% is whatever they decide.

It’s a bit like posting a letter or ordering a meal – you don’t stand over the chef while he cooks, you don’t stalk the postman as he posts.

That’s it for today!

Much love,

Cairistiona

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