We’re coming to the last days of 2018, days that I often find to be the most sacred because of how silent and deep they feel.
I want to connect more. I want true and deep connections with strangers, those types of passing connections of an hour or five minutes where you beautifully commune to another soul.
My first experience of this was being 13 or 14. I was in London with my mother and a friend for a comic con expo thing. For these expos some people dress up as their favourite characters from Japanese mangas and animes. I was doing that. I was dressed as a, well,…err…A german nazi vampire. A black suit with a red tie.
We were coming back from London to Bristol. One of the Bristolian football teams had a big game that day so some of the match attendees were returning home as we were.
One of them sat across from me and his drunk friends in the row adjacent.
I didn’t expect much..I think I judged him too soon because of his thick Bristolian accent and being a football fan, I expected him to be a lout or not well educated or knowledgeable. So he asked me about my outfit (my friend was dressed the same) and he started to talk in detail and at length about Japan, Japanese culture and his travels there. He recommended Kyoto to me and shared a packet of ready salted crisps.
Then he asked me what I wanted from life and I said something about being rich, to which he replied – “Well money is always a problem no matter how much you have.”
That statement really affected me, and I still think about this encounter. I don’t know his name.
I want more encounters like this between people. Transient, beautiful things that impact for years afterwards. Maybe I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I’m becoming clear with the universe/god/life with what I want for my business for the upcoming year.
Connection with life and the living, that’s what I crave – mere participation. For too long I’ve dithered because of fear of regretting my actions, that I would make a wrong turn, that there would be more regret from living life.
To refuse connection, is that to refuse life? To refuse living?
P. S. I’ve come back to blogging. Still doing Instagram but it’s not the place for my long detailed habit of essays, and I want them be kept somewhere.